Okay, I confess, I was, am, and always will be in love with acting. What’s not to love? Yes, you get the constant critics on how not good your acting skills are, how you cannot cry, how you should act crazier, scarier, meaner, sexier. Then, you have all these insecurities in your body. Plus, the heat of the lights touching your skin– which is really hot (if uber exposed) . The tension exercise, and other theatre exercises which I absolutely love. The sleepless nights, the memorizing of the 60 page script (on a jeepney- please don’t judge). The limbers. The running up and down on bleachers for an hour (now you know how I got my skinny bod 😉 ). The part where you get to spend money so that you could get your own costume. The stress. The adrenaline. The part where you need to think about the history of your character, the 3D, gestures, mannerism, etc. The part where you discover the character and how you can make it. Then, you think on how you could make it better, and sometimes, when it is off stage, you still act like your character. The friends. The late night food trips. it’s been over a year now since I last set foot on a stage, and I miss it. Very much. Can I be the wife of Captain obvious now? I just miss it so-god-damned-much!
I feel that I am babbling now. It’s hard not to write your feelings when you know you love something. You relive it (not in a psychopath way, but, crazy way– good crazy). You need it. It’s like the vitamins in your body. It’s like caffeine, so addictive. I still find myself looking straight in the mirror, and then act. Spontaneously. My favorite is playing a sexy song, and I turn into an instant stripper. Or, the hurt girl works too– just to know if my tears still work.
I feel the need to keep my soul intact. Which acting, by the way, helps you connect to your inner self. Or, my inner goddess as I call it. Now, the closest I get to acting (publicized- with an audience) is by taking selfies photos, and make faces, then posting it to facebook.
And, this blog got published without me meaning to! Arrghhh. I have not even posted pictures yet. So, I am editing it now. >.<
Here are some of the roles I played:
1. Nurse Rona
2. Eliza Doolittle (My Fair Lady)
3. A flower (Yes, a flower, the one that bees love so much)
4. A super mean mother-who loves to say bullshit and god damn it- (Mrs. Santos)
5. A hooker (Cindy)
So, if you see me on the streets, acting like summer and walking like rain, you’ll know. It’s not me, but my inner goddess acting..